tired and encouraged in an original mind

My job is trying sometimes.  It’s one of the reasons I like it.  I like the ups and downs; the ebbs and flows; the momentum and adrenaline and the “way to go me!” of the high periods, and the catching up and thinking about what I’ll cook and remembering I have to mail that thing part about the low periods.

I’m in a trying period now.  Really trying.  I’m so tired I’m afraid to go to bed because when I get there I can’t sleep because of the things that are causing that blackberry to flash its little red light.  Don't say it – it IS put away in my purse, but I KNOW it is flashing red.  

Tonight, again, I got nothing.  I’m just tired.  I'm a little dejected and a little blue and that is certainly because I'm tired.

I do have somebody else’s words.  His words will be swooping about the atmosphere like a flock of birds in autumn in the next days, and I hate being a joiner-inner.  But I’m struck by the idea that in his death, his words are stronger than mine are today.  And I’m motivated by that!  I'm encouraged in the thought of it. An original mind never dies, does it?

I know I will sleep thinking about that.  

Good night world.

(And good night original mind.)

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~Steve Jobs



  1. Reply
    Selma October 7, 2011

    Sorry you’re going through a trying period right now. I hear you. That quote is incredible. What strikes me the most about it is the point of having the courage to follow what your heart and intuition already know. I have found that to be true. Very, very wise. Sad to think Steve Jobs is gone now.

  2. Reply
    Jennifer October 8, 2011

    I made it through pal. Proposal went in and life looks as if it might get back to an even keel again! That point in Jobs’ comments is strong for me too. There were a few times in my life when I went against my intuition and it would come back to haunt me. It’s good to be reminded once in awhile, no?

  3. Reply
    The Querulous Squirrel October 8, 2011

    The quote reminds me of the poem Desiderata I had hung on my wall throughout college. Some people are just driven to follow their intuition regardless of the noise outside, and others of us need reminding and reminding and reminding. Like me. Like my psychotherapy patients. I know that exhaustion you describe, too exhausted to sleep. And being reminded we are individuals and can do whatever we want is empowering and elevating. But why do so many people not know that in the first place, or forget whenever they are reminded? It makes me think of Tillie Olsen’s I Stand Here Ironing. Let her know she is not like the dress before the iron.

  4. Reply
    The Querulous Squirrel October 9, 2011

    Oh, and just read your “about the writer” and thought it beautiful. I related to no MacDonald’s (or Chucky Cheese) birthday parties and Disney was completely omitted from my children’t childhood. It was too violent in constantly killing off mothers, starting with the first one I saw as a child: Bambi. Totally misogynistic.

  5. Reply
    Jennifer October 9, 2011

    Oh my word, so much to say. I know the Desiderata so well. I still have a copy of it in my desk. And you’re right QS, Jobs was saying exactly what that the Desiderata said.
    I don’t know why so many of us don’t know it in the first place. If only we could figure out a way to make sure we do…
    she is not like the dress before the iron

  6. Reply
    Jennifer October 9, 2011

    You know Squirrel, the best paper I ever wrote was a study of mothers in Disney movies – or the lack thereof. All their movies are misogynistic. And yeah about the kiddie party thing – anyway, my youngest Kels was afraid of characters in costunes, a la Chuckie Cheese. I think her fear was apros pos.

  7. Reply
    The Querulous Squirrel October 11, 2011

    I invited a clown who was also a friend to my son’t third birthday party. He wouldn’t go near her. I don’t know if you realize that I included you in a post again. I thought it might perk you up. You are such an inspiration.

  8. Reply
    Jennifer October 11, 2011

    Ha, my Kelsey was permanently traumatized by a kid dressed up as a clown on Halloween when she was two. She’s still afraid of them.
    THANK you AGAIN for the mention! I am SO terrible for not visiting ANY of my blogger pals these days. Soon you’ll all forget all about me. But I never forget you.

  9. Reply
    The Querulous Squirrel October 12, 2011

    You are quite unforgettable. You have a unique niche and your posts resonate for a long time.

  10. Reply
    Jennifer October 12, 2011

    You’re lovely. If it weren’t for you and my loyal bloggerly pals I’d have quit writing a long time ago. Really.

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